Twisted Scripture: Why Football is Evil, Pagan and All Around Not Nice

This is part 1,532 of this very important series on why American Football should not be engaged in, either as a player or spectator, by a Real Christian™.  I will use the same very strong and filled with meat and iron-clad arguments that are used to argue against such important and salvation affecting doctrines as celebrating birthdays and wearing makeup.  After this article, there should be no doubt what The Truth™ is, and where this unshakable truth will remain – at least until New Truth™ comes along that conveniently allows the Old Truth to be cast aside.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday in the US.  Companies are paying millions of dollars to run short ads on TV.  It is pure materialism, which feeds greed.  Simply put, that in itself makes it wrong.  If it is materialistic, then it isn’t because mankind has taken something decent and corrupted it.  No way!  That means it was conceived as evil from the very beginning!a

However, it should be noted that all sports are condemned in the Bible!  That’s right!  Everywhere a sport is mentioned, there are bad consequences and pagan influences!

8 And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.

~ Ge 26:8

See?  By “sporting” around, Isaac incurs the wrath of the king of the Philistines!  Not a good outcome!  If sports were truly blessed events, then wouldn’t there be good examples instead?b

25 And it came to pass, when their hearts were merry, that they said, Call for Samson, that he may make us sport. And they called for Samson out of the prison house; and he made them sport: and they set him between the pillars.

27 Now the house was full of men and women; and all the lords of the Philistines were there; and there were upon the roof about three thousand men and women, that beheld while Samson made sport.

~ Jdg 16:25, 27

Spectator sports are pagan!  How much more proof do you need????!!!!c

23 It is as sport to a fool to do mischief: but a man of understanding hath wisdom.

~ Pr 10:23

Sports are foolish!  A “fool” in the Bible is one that will not listen to God’s word, and this is the same as being pagan!d

3 But draw near hither, ye sons of the sorceress, the seed of the adulterer and the whore.

4 Against whom do ye sport yourselves? against whom make ye a wide mouth, and draw out the tongue? are ye not children of transgression, a seed of falsehood.

~ Isa 57:3-4

Wow!  Sports are associated with sorcery and adultery!  Do you want to associate yourselves with that?e

13 And shall receive the reward of unrighteousness, as they that count it pleasure to riot in the day time. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you;

~ 2Pe 2:13

See?  Those engaged in sports are deceived!f

Therefore, I have “proved” that sports are evil.  Therefore, American football is to be avoided at all costs!


OK now, for extra credit, how many fallacies do you see?


a. Fallacy of composition, right?

b. Appeal to consequences, I believe.

c. Obviously, guilt by association.

d. Total red herring (partly by misdefining “sport”), followed by association by guilt and ad hominem.

e. Ad hominem.

f. Ignoring common cause and effect, as well as some others.

g. All of these of course have a problem with the definition of “sport” to begin with, but I don’t see the category of definitional fallacy strangely enough in any of them I saw online, even though I know it was introduced in at least one class I took.

8 thoughts on “Twisted Scripture: Why Football is Evil, Pagan and All Around Not Nice

  • Richard Burkard on Facebook

    My pastor found fault with the “so-called Super Bowl” this weekend – noting so much $$ was being spent on the game, when parts of NOLA haven’t recovered from Hurricane Katrina. (Of course, some COG ministers have said the city shouldn’t be rebuilt at all.)

  • John D Carmack on Facebook

    OK, so he faults it because NO has not yet been rebuilt, yet they are having it in NO, which means tourists will come there and spend money, meaning more money to rebuild it ….? How does this work again?

    Name that fallacy: Questionable cause, I believe it is.

    • John D

      @Paul: Well, considering the way the first half went … :)

      However, I do want to say that I’m all for a decent halftime show. Sometimes, it is the highlight of the entire show, given that some years the football isn’t as spectacular as expected. Unfortunately, this year did not have a decent halftime show. Instead, it seems that the producers are going for bigger, more spectacular, more (literal) fireworks than before. I mean, really? Flames shooting out of guitar are supposed to impress me? The whole thing was just weird.

  • Andrew

    I’ve never understood the statement that Thiel makes about football and the superbowl. I’ve never seen open condemnation in the Bible against men competing with each other in a sport and the ability to test their strength against others in competition and games.

    Especially when Jacob and Christ had a pretty epic wrestling match that resulted in Christ giving a lasting injury to Jacob. And we know it’s impossible for Him to sin…

    • John D

      @Andrew: In my previous article, I linked to Wallace Smith’s blog, where he brings out the case of Jacob and the “man” wrestling. However, I don’t think Thiel has any intent of letting logic get in the way of his thinking.

  • Paul

    I’d also prefer my halftime show have their performers clothed. I thought maybe I had turned to the lingerie bowl by mistake. As I heard one guy say, the only things missing were a pole and a bouncer.

    • John D

      I was trying to steer around that, actually. It wasn’t just what she was wearing but how she was dancing that reminded me of some places I’d gone to in my wilder years. I guess the idea of what comprises a “family friendly” show isn’t what it used to be.

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